The Raw and the Cooked

In The Raw and the Cooked, Claude Levi-Strauss discusses the structures of myths as basic frameworks by which to understand cultural relations. The theory goes, that you can understand the structures of a culture by understanding the binary oppositions present in the culture’s mythology. In a simplistic reading of the title of this book – raw is associated with nature and cooked with culture.

Which brings me to today. I have been struggling with the anti-social (read, away-from-culture) nature of being raw. The difficulties going out to dinner as a “normal” (read, member of my culture) person only to get wilted lettuce, tasteless tomatoes, and the discomfort that comes from being dissatisfied while everyone else at the table is enjoying their cooked (read, part of culture, society) foods.

So I’ve been experimenting eating cooked foods. And I feel like crap every time. I get bloated, puffy, congested … so the challenge question is, how to develop some sort of continuum, a conversation within the binary system that enables you to remain raw (natural, healthy, feeling good in your body) while participating in the cooked world. What types of ccoked foods enable you to share (to break bread together – a symbol of friendship, connection, and trust) without making you sick … ?

Snake skin

2008 has been a year of change. Starting with the juice feast, the reintegration of yoga as a central component of my life, coming back to chewing … and this following 2007 which – looking back – seems to have been a year of shedding – a relationship that was destroying both of us, a parasite cleanse, attachments to career mythologies, friends, family … It is also a year of openness, of adjusting, integrating, reintegrating, solidifying, honesty, peace, and love (not that I can guarantee any of that finds its way into national politics or policy – but individuals, one heart at a time, one talk, friend, pose, breath, hug, I can contribute to). Where the parasite cleanse rid me of period cramps (if this is TMI, stop now – but for many of us with the potential for giving birth, this is really cool information), the juice feast gave me my first cycle ever without bloating or breast tenderness. It did not rid me of insane dairy cravings (which I honored with more than a lovely cow or goat probably produced in the day – or even week – prior to when I consumed it), but I was almost surprised when the cravings came and my period started as the tenderness, bloating (I am one of those with a complete menstruation-wardrobe), and (what I thought was the) requisite under-the-skin-zit did not alert me to its arrival. The other thing that has seemed to shed is the need to prove myself to others. That I can shed the skin, the trappings, and find me inside. Again. And again. And again. That with every layer that falls away, more of me is revealed. On more days. At more times. More loving. More clear. More present. More raw. More real.

Hmm …

I was at a friend’s house yesterday. She and her husband had just made a beautiful red-velvet cake. The jam in the middle was home-made. The icing was white and sugary (and not home-made, from a can – the kind we used to eat in summer camp …). I ate some. I knew I shouldn’t. But I have issues re: perceived judgment and not eating other people’s food. That if I don’t eat it I am somehow being judgmental that their food isn’t good enough – not just that it isn’t for me … And I had a piece. And another. The sugar was addictive. I couldn’t stop myself from having extra frosting. It was a little scary. I started buzzing. I had a pain in my chest. I didn’t know how to slow it down except to ingest more poisons (some sort of food-downers) to stabilize myself. So I had some cooked food (hummus, falafel, tahini, pita along with a lebanese salad and tabbouleh) and it worked. Boy, was I down. And I went to sleep. For 9 hours. I woke up totally congested, with my face all puffy. It was gross. I felt so great on the juice. What was I thinking?? Or was I thinking my body would not notice what the temptation part of my brain seduced to my lips? The thing about your body is that even if noone else knows you ate it, your body does. And it is the one that has to deal with it. Even long after you forgot how it tasted.

New Year’s Day

It is New Year’s Day, 2008. I have never been one for resolutions, but this year I find them spontaneously blossoming. First, a decision to return to one of my many career iterations and abandon this crazy unfulfilling pursuit I’ve been on. Second, to begin a 92-day Juice Feast. I have to say, the only things holding me back right now are the 43 pieces of raw chocolate that I made last week, the 1/2lb of raw goat feta I purchased at Rawsome on Saturday, and the sundried Peruvian olives I marinated in water, Himalayan Sea Salt, and a touch of apple cider vinegar …. well – those are really it. 45 reasons to postpone. But then I realize there will always be something tantalizing in my fridge until I make the commitment. And 2008 is the year of the commitment.